Ruby Jades Diary: Thoughtless

So, we left Hoth.  After taking a few hours to warm up and thaw the ice out of my unmentionables, I had to deal with a couple of minor things.

First, that Republic soldier guy decided he wanted to join up with us.  I was okay with that.  I can always use more cannon fodder.  But then I had a strange conversation with him.  He was talking about how nice the ship was and how he wanted to explore it better and really get to know it better.  I figured that that was his way of trying to flirt with me, so I told him that he probably should find a better use of his time.  Sure, he wasn’t bad looking, but I wasn’t really looking for that sort of thing right now and if I was I’d want someone who didn’t hide his flirting behind strange compliments to the ship.  Of course, he might have actually been talking about the ship, at which point it was an even better idea for him to find a better use of his time.

The other thing was that freaky lizard guy had gone through his ritual and molted his skin, and then he had to … eat it?  And it would take forever to digest and cause him all sorts of indigestion and the like.  Yeah, uh, sure.  You do that.  No problem.

Freaky lizard guy …

Anyway, that freaky lizard guy we ran into on Tatooine said that there was some other great hunt on Alderaan, and my freaky lizard guy really, really wanted to go.  So we did.  And it was a trap. Some Wookiee hunter liked killing freaky lizard guys when they were weak from their ritual, like a true warrior.  But then he said he wanted to do it because the freaky lizard guys liked to kill and skin his kind, and at that point I pretty much lost all interest in the matter.  I went through the motions of being conciliatory figuring that this was going to end in violence anyway … and the Wookiee accepted and agreed to just leave!  The idea ticked off freaky lizard guy, but I couldn’t really back out at that point and anyway, the freaky lizard guys were turning them into like rugs or something.  So I didn’t really care about not getting to kill him.

And then the other freaky lizard guy talked about how great his trap was and how smart he was for setting it up.  Hey, look buddy, the only reason the trap worked at all was because we’re both tougher and smarter than you, and what you did looks an awful lot like pleading for your life and selling us out.  If it wouldn’t have ticked off my freaky lizard guy, I’d’ve killed you instead.  So keep your mouth shut, ‘kay?

Oh, and then back on the ship we finally figured out who our traitor was.  See, someone had been playing with the communications and selling us out and the like, and while I was out killing things on Hoth Nadia and her father figured it out.  Turns out it was her aide, who always acted like a complete coward.  You’d’ve thought they would’ve figured it out before here.  And especially before they sent him home to their King and Queen that the Sith wanted.  Oh, and you think they would’ve figured out that he wasn’t just a traitor, but was an actual Sith.  Sigh.

Anyway, I went there to confront him and his Sith — partner?  Handler?  Guy? — and tried to convince the King and Queen to not side with them.  And the Queen said that they didn’t see any difference between myself and them because I threatened the families of people.  And my first reaction to that was “Wait, when did I do that?”.  I mean, it’s not like it’s something I’d never do, but I couldn’t remember doing anything like that … at least, not where she could have heard about it.  But freaky lizard guy said that it was probably that time on Balmorra with the President and the handover and the like and I said “Oh, yeah.  Good times!”.

Which obviously was not going to convince her that I wasn’t as bad as the Sith.  Which sucks, because I’ve been trying to hide that all this time.

Anyway, the royals sicced their guards on me, and the Sith guy and them tried to kill me.  Obviously, they didn’t succeed.  And then the aide revealed that he was some kind of Child of the Emperor and that he and the other ones have been hanging around in the Republic just waiting to start trouble.  Now, I start enough trouble on my own, and the one thing I can’t stand is people making trouble for me.  So I killed him, too.

(What is with these Sith arrogantly thinking they can beat me?)

Anyway, when I got back to the ship there was a message from Uncle Koerran giving me an infodump on these guys and implying that he had had to deal with them himself.  Guess that’s why he was interested in me.  And good thing, too, because another message said that war had broken out and these guys were all going to be active and doing terrible things.  So the Council and the Rift Alliance all said that we needed more troops to fight them off.  Fine.  And they said that I should talk to the newly restored Neotikons about it, which … okay, they’re kind ancient, but maybe they’ll have something to say.  And they said that I should go and free some race called the Esh-kha from a planet prison that a horrible, genocidal race built to put them in because that race was too genocidal and homicidal even for them.

And if the fact that pretty much all of the authority figures around think that this is a really, really good idea wasn’t bad enough, you know what’s even worse?  I agreed to do it.  I’m not sure who’s the stupider or crazier of everyone involved, but I really can’t say that it’s not me.

Ruby Jades Diary: Snow White Queen

Me and my big mouth.

So, yeah, the next place I was sent to was Hoth.  And, you know, this one was kinda a let down.  Before I was sent to cause an uprising and free Balmorra, and defend a critical research station.  On Hoth, they wanted me to … give some of their troops a hand with some pirates.  And when I got down there there was pretty much only one small group left and they wanted to leave.  Huh.

Anyway, the big issue was that there was some pirate captain who claimed that he couldn’t be killed.  So I took that as a challenge and went out to kill him.  And I did.  But then he called us up and basically said “Fooled you!” and started doing all his crazy stuff again.  And we’d told the men that we’d killed him and when they found out they were ticked off and tried to kill their lieutenant and run off.  They probably would have tried to kill me, too, and so I would have had to kill them which would have left a mess.  And I hate messes.  So we had to settle things.

But we had an advantage.  I’d found out that he had found a special armour that healed him when he too damage, and it was so good at it that it could bring him back from death.  But it turned out that the way to defeat it was to kill him over and over again until the system was overloaded and couldn’t save him.

And it wasn’t even my birthday!

So we pointed that out to them and then found out that he was trying to raise one of the ancient ships in a ship graveyard on Hoth, which was the only reason that anyone would come to this ice ball.  So the lieutenant and his men went to attack the engines to keep it grounded while I went to kill the pirate guy over and over and over again.

Along the way, I had to face some Imperials who wanted to kill him and take the armour back.  They decided to start by killing me first.  That was stupid for a whole bunch of reasons.  Even if they had been able to kill me, I was going to take some of them with me and that would leave them with a weakened force to take the pirate guy on with.  And, of course, they were facing me which wasn’t a good idea.

So after I killed all of them, I moved on to killing the pirate guy.  He was all arrogant that there was nothing I could do to stop him until he realized that we’d blown up his engines and he wasn’t going to get off the ground.  At that point, he tried to kill me.  And I kept beating the stuffing out of him until his armour failed and he finally died.  Too good for ‘im I say!

And it turns out that having to help the troops do their job was the theme of Hoth, because the base there was in poor shape.  They had people out in the field that they couldn’t find.  Their Talz troopers had their communications cut off and didn’t now what to do.  The Ortolans miners had told the Empire how to blow up the mines and the base.  All things that the normal troops should be able to handle.

But the troops didn’t like the cold.  In fact, one of them decided to try to betray me to get off the planet.  When I figured it out and killed off his ambush party, he tried to plead with me not to kill him.  I was curious to see what excuse he’d come up with, so I paused to give him a chance to plead his case.  But I was disappointed.  All he came up with was that between the cold and the Imperials the only way off on the Republic side was in a body bag, and he wanted to avoid that.  But, of course, by betraying me he ended up guaranteeing that he’d leave Hoth in the body bag.  And, hey, I honour my guarantees.

Again, I’m not a nice person.

And keep that in mind, because there was a big power station that the Empire was going to take over, and the Republic officer in charge wanted me to blow it up.  I went there and found that the Ortolans had built it and wanted to keep it for after everyone left.  While I let them plead their case, the Imperials attacked.  I fought them off — I didn’t want to see the little guys killed — and they took that as a sign that I wasn’t going to blow it up after all and promised to set it up with automated defenses so that the Imperials would never get it.  I let them have it.  I kinda thought blowing the thing up was kinda stupid anyway.

But I’m still not a nice person.

The last thing I had to deal with was a general who was building another superweapon.  And again he’d had it stolen, this time by pirates.  So I had to retrieve the parts and hunt the pirates down for the plans.  Turns out when I got there they pirates had already made copies, but the tech involved said we could use the prototype to fry everything.  Since I didn’t want pirates to get that kind of superweapon, I went with it.  I figured the general would be ticked off, but he was surprisingly okay with it, figuring they could rebuild the weapon and that it wasn’t a good idea for the pirates to get a hold of it.  Huh.  A sensible, jovial general.  He still seemed to have caught the “We need superweapons!” disease of the rest of the Republic military, but there’s hope for him yet.

Anyway, after that I headed back to my ship to get warmed up and get some rest.  Because nothing serious was going to happen any time soon.

Ruby Jades Diary: Sick

The Council sends me to the nicest places.

So the Rift Alliance had a problem.  It seems that they had a secret research facility on Quesh.  Well, it was secret from the Republic anyway.  The Empire seemed to find it easily enough.  And they were attacking it.  With elite troops in numbers.

Huh.  I might actually break a sweat with this one.

But it turns out that the thing they were researching — or, at least, one of the things that they were researching — were these kinda nanites or things like that that I could inject myself with to make me stronger and increase my healing.  Nadia, the daughter of one of the delegate guys, told me about them … after she snuck off the ship against her father’s wishes to try to save the facility.

Good for her!

Anyway, after I mopped up the regular elite forces (shut up!) it turns out that some other guys had locked themselves in a room, but more Imperials were coming.  Nadia decided to try to lead them away while I broke the scientists out.  I kinda protested it because, well, it was a good way to get herself killed and tick her father off — which wouldn’t be good for my mission — but she took off anyway.  Well, since I couldn’t stop her I decided I might as well take advantage of the distraction and break the scientists out.  They were so grateful they decided to reward me by … letting me decide what project they were going to work on next.  Do I look like a project manager?

Anyway, I let them decide, and they chose to focus on the medical tech over the weapons tech.  Honestly, that’s probably a good choice.  Given what I’ve seen so far, it’ll almost certainly kill less people on our side when the Empire inevitably gets their hands on it and uses it against us.

Nadia got away fine, the attack was blunted, and the facility saved.  All good.  So it was time for me to turn my attention to what the Republic was actually doing on Quesh.

Now, Quesh is a toxic swamp.  If you thought Taris was bad, it’s a pleasure planet compared to Quesh.  Nuking it from orbit would only improve it.  But it turns out that the toxins there let people make strong adrenals that both sides wanted for their soldiers.  Personally, I’ve always thought that if you have to use drugs to do things well that just means that you aren’t good enough and should give up, but then I have the Force on my side so who am I to talk?

Anyway, the Republic had made a deal with the Hutts and set up production facilities there, and the Empire was trying to destroy their mines and production facilities.  They’d caused some leaks that were poisoning the planet and the people near them — and on a planet where pretty much everyone wears breathing masks all the time anyway, that’s saying something — and I had to go in and fix them and cure the people near them.  I’m not a mechanic or a nurse, but then again neither of those would be able to wipe out the Imperials near them, so I guess I was the most qualified.  Anyway, after that the Imperials decided to attack the mines, and the Republic guy in charge wanted me to help him attack their base instead of defending the mines.

Look, I’m not a nice person.  And I’m not a diplomat.  But even I know that if you let the Imperials wipe out your labour force they aren’t going to want to work for you anymore.  And the whole reason to be here was for the mines, so letting them get wiped out is, well, kinda stupid.  Especially since as a military guy his entire job was figuring out how to take out the base.  I guess he could say that this was his plan and that getting rid of the Imperials was a better way to protect the mine and miners in the long run, but getting them all killed and all the equipment destroyed really wasn’t a good plan.  Besides, if they took out the base the Imperials might just hole up in the mines, which would screw up the entire mission.  So I saved the mines.  The general’s local guy was impressed that I did that.

Now, the mines were run by the Hutts, and our Hutt contact wanted me to bring some of the “special” adrenals out and he’d give me some money for doing that.  I did it, and didn’t tell the Republic about it.  Again, I have no problem taking a bit of money for something a little shady if I was going to be in there anyway.  After the Republic wanted to get everyone killed, I figured they didn’t deserve their cut.

Of course, after doing that stuff it turns out that that guy was a traitor, attacking the base, kidnapping a Hutt, and killing people.  He took up with the Sith who was running things and when I caught up with them he said that he was trying to get promoted and the Sith had promised him that he would if he helped them.  I pointed out that the Sith don’t promote aliens, and the Sith said that he was incredibly naive to have believed anything the Sith said.  That’s pretty much a direct quote.  I started to kinda like that Sith.

Of course, the Sith had that typical arrogance where he decided that he was going to be able to kill me easily, and he hopped up the traitor guy on adrenals so that the traitor guy might be more than a speed bump for me.  Well, he wasn’t.  I put them down pretty easily, and the traitor guy wanted me to forgive him.  I didn’t, and let him die painfully.  Too good for him I say!

Again, let me remind you:  I’m not a nice person!

So I went back to the ship and confronted Nadia and her father over the fact that she can use the Force.  They wanted to keep it quiet but wanted her trained, and asked me to do it.  I agreed.  I’ve always wanted a follower … er, apprentice and I kinda respect her making her own choices in life regardless of what her father said.  Now I just have to make sure that she doesn’t get killed, but how hard could that be?

Wonder what hellhole the Republic will send me to next?  About the only place worse than this place would be Hoth, but I can’t see any reason why they’d send me to that deserted ice ball.

Beck Snipes at Alex

1 – INT – HOLLYWOOD ARTS HIGH – HALLWAY BY TORI’S LOCKER

Tori is getting books from her locker when Beck and Andre stop by.

TORI
Hey, guys.

BECK
Hey.

ANDRE
What’s happenin’?

TORI
Not much.  You?

ANDRE
No, what I meant was what’s happenin’ after school.

TORI
Oh.

At that moment, Alex and Jade walk past, heading for her locker.  Jade, surprisingly, is smiling and laughing at something Alex said.  Alex is adopting the semi-serious face he adopts when he’s trolling people.
TORI
Well, we could always go to Nozu for suishi.

ANDRE
We did that yesterday … and to be honest I don’t think it’s sittin’ right with me.

TORI
Oh.  Karaoke Doke?

ANDRE
I was just tutoring the intro to singing class …

TORI
… And you’ve had enough bad singing for one day?

ANDRE
You got it.

TORI
So, Beck, do you have any ideas?

While they’ve been talking, Beck has been watching Jade and Alex.  At this point, Jade smiles and kisses Alex on the cheek, and then bounces away happily.  Alex smiles as well, and heads over to his locker.
TORI
Beck?

Beck keeps staring at Alex as he goes to his locker.
TORI
Hey, Beck?

Beck is still staring at Alex.
TORI
Earth to Beck?

Beck finally notices her.
BECK
Huh?

TORI
Any ideas on what we should do after school?

BECK
Oh … no, no idea.

TORI
I guess we could always play poker again.

ANDRE
Yeah, that sounds all right.  I’ll let Cat and Jade know after class.

TORI
Sounds good.

Beck is still staring at Alex.  Tori notices and looks over.
TORI
You know … we should invite Alex to play poker, too.

BECK
I don’t know about that.

TORI
Why not?

BECK(hesitantly)
Well … he’s always so busy.  I’m sure he won’t be able to.

TORI
There’s no harm in asking.  Come on, let’s ask him now!

BECK
I’m not …

TORI
Come on!

Tori drags Beck over to where Alex is getting things from his locker.
TORI
Hey Alex!

ALEX
Hey, guys.

Beck pointedly doesn’t say anything.  Alex looks at him with a puzzled expression.
TORI
Hey, we’re all going over to my place to play poker after school!

BECK
But I’m sure you’re too busy for that.

ALEX
Well, as it happens …

BECK
Yeah, thought so, too busy.  Too bad.

TORI
Hey, would you let him answer?

BECK
Well, he pretty much just did!

TORI
No he didn’t!

BECK
Yeah, he did!

ALEX
You know, since I’m standing right here and all, you could just let me go ahead and answer.

They both turn to look at him.
TORI
Oh, right, sure.  So, can you come?

Alex looks at Beck, who is looking at him with a much more hostile manner than usual.  He pauses for a minute, and then replies.
ALEX
… No, I’m too busy.

BECK
Told you.

ALEX
And if you’ll excuse me I have … other things to do.

He leaves.  Tori gives both Alex’s back and Beck puzzled looks.

2 – INT – HOLLYWOOD ARTS HIGH – HALLWAY BY TORI’S LOCKER

Tori, Beck and Andre and standing by the locker.  Beck and Tori are discussing something.  Alex and Jade come up to them.
BECK
I’m sure it was Einstein.

TORI
I thought that was one place where they worked out the same.

BECK
No, I’m pretty sure that Relativity predicted the perihelion of Mercury.

TORI
Wasn’t that something else?

ALEX
No, Beck’s right.  Both Newtonian gravitation and Einsteinian Relativity made predictions about the perihelion of Mercury, but Einstein’s prediction was correct.

TORI
Aw, man, I got that question wrong!

Meanwhile, Beck glared at Alex.
BECK
I didn’t ask for your help.

Alex looks at him, puzzled.
BECK
Some of us know things about physics, too, you know.

ALEX
I didn’t imply …

BECK
You don’t need to throw your sciencey brains in our faces all the time!

Alex glares at him but doesn’t bother to reply.
BECK
And that doesn’t make up for your lack of artistic skills either, no matter how much you might want it to!

Alex glares at him.  The others look on in shock.
ALEX
Well, given that, I guess I should go do some “sciencey” stuff.

BECK
Yeah, you do that!

Alex walks off.  The others stare at him.
BECK
What?

They all keep looking at him.  Tori looks like she’s about to say something.
BECK
You know, I have things to do.  Later.

He walks off.  Andre and Tori keep staring at him.  Jade walks after him.
JADE
Hey!

BECK
What?

JADE
What’s your problem with Alex?

BECK
What do you mean “What’s your problem with Alex”?

JADE
Why’d you go off on him like that?

BECK
I’m just tired of his tossing his science stuff in our faces all the time.

JADE
But he doesn’t do that!

BECK
Sure seems like it to me.

JADE
You’ve been riding him pretty hard the past while!

BECK
No, I haven’t.

JADE
Yeah, you have.

BECK
Just because I snapped at him once?

JADE
Oh, I heard about the poker thing.

BECK
He was busy.

JADE
You didn’t let him answer!

BECK
Yeah, I did!

JADE
And then there was the Karaoke.

BECK
He didn’t want to sing.

JADE
But I wanted him to sing with me!

BECK
And he didn’t want to!

JADE
He was going to until you said that his singing would empty the place.

BECK
That was a joke!

JADE
It didn’t seem like a joke to me!

BECK
Well, if he can’t take a joke …

JADE
That wasn’t a …

Jade clamps down on her response and visibly works to calm herself down.
JADE
Our breaking up was supposed to stop us fighting, wasn’t it?

BECK
So why’d you start one, then?

JADE
So why are you picking on Alex, then?

BECK
I’m not!

JADE
Look, if you’re mad because we got Cat’s permission before we started dating and not yours …

BECK
I’m not picking on Alex and I have no issue with that!

JADE
You are so and I want to know why!

BECK
Look, I’m done talking about this.  Go hang out with Alex if I bug you so much.

He walks away.  Jade looks after him, puzzled.

3 – INT – LIVING ROOM IN TORI’S HOUSE

Tori and Beck are sitting at the poker table in Tori’s house.

BECK
Andre can’t come.  He has a rehearsal.

TORI
And Cat’s not coming.

BECK
Why not?

TORI
Because Jade’s not coming since she found out you’d be here.

BECK
Ah.

TORI
I could ask Alex to come by, but I’m pretty sure he’d be busy.  Whether he was or not.

BECK
Well, he always has stuff to do.

TORI
So what’s up with you anyway?

BECK
What do you mean?

TORI
Well, you’ve been riding him pretty hard lately.

BECK
No, I …

TORI(interrupting)
Yes, you have.

BECK
I mean, just because …

TORI
You uninvited him from poker, didn’t accept his help in physics, discouraged him from singing karaoke with Jade, didn’t cast him …

BECK
Okay, okay, I get it.

TORI
So …

BECK
So?

TORI
So why’ve you been riding him so hard?

BECK
You wouldn’t get it.

TORI
Is it because he’s dating Jade?

BECK
No!  I don’t care who she dates!

TORI
Then what is it?

BECK
It’s … well, it’s …

TORI
It’s …?

BECK
You wouldn’t understand!

TORI
Look, the group wasn’t this split when you and Jade broke up the last time!  So I’m going to find out what the problem is one way or another!

BECK
Yeah?  What’s your famed interrogation technique?

TORI
I tickle.

BECK
That might be fun.

TORI
Beck!  I’m not going to let this go!

BECK
I don’t want to …

TORI
Why are you so mad at Alex?

BECK
It’s not something …

TORI
Beck!

BECK
All right, all right, I’ll tell you.  It’s because … Jade’s happy.

TORI(shocked)
You don’t want to see Jade happy?

BECK
No!  I want her to be happy!  It’s just …

TORI(more sympathetic)
Just … ?

BECK
Remember when Jade and I were broken up and she said I didn’t know how to make my girlfriend happy?

TORI
And you said … oh.

BECK
Yeah, I said that she hated to be happy.

TORI
That wasn’t just a clever comeback, was it?

BECK
No, every time Jade started to feel happy she’d start looking for something to come up and ruin it.  So the best way to keep her “happy” was to not let things get too good.  Then she’d trust that things were going right.

TORI
But she certainly seems happy with Alex.

BECK
Yeah.  And she’s not even jealous of him like she was with me.  And that makes me wonder …

 TORI
If you could have made her that happy, too?

BECK
Yeah.

TORI
Look, we all know that Jade is bitter, paranoid and very insecure.

BECK
Sure.

TORI
But there’s one big reason why she feels more secure with him than with you.

BECK
Because I’m so much more attractive than he is and so she knows that other girls won’t chase him?

TORI
Like Shannon did?

BECK
Okay, but then what’s the reason?

TORI
Well, it goes back to Shannon.  Because of that, she knows that Alex isn’t going to cheat on her with someone else, because he refused to do that with Cat.

BECK
But I wouldn’t have cheated on her either!

TORI
But you enjoyed the attention of those hot girls who kept hitting on you!  Alex refused to accept it could happen and was very upset when it turned out that it was happening.

BECK
Yeah, he still hasn’t talked to Shannon since.

TORI
Whatever else you can say about that boy, he certainly can hold a grudge.

BECK
As you found out.

TORI
Anyway, Jade knows that he’s not going to cheat on her, and also that he’s not going to leave her, and so she feels more secure than she ever could have with you.

BECK
Still seems like I was the problem there.

TORI
Because you didn’t date Cat first and show incredible loyalty to her?

BECK(smiling)
Sorry, didn’t think that far ahead.

TORI
So it isn’t anything you did wrong.  Given who you are and who she is you couldn’t have had that kind of relationship.  And that’s why the two of you broke up, remember.

BECK
Yeah.

Beck pauses for a minute.
BECK
I’ve kinda been a jerk to Alex.

TORI
And what are you going to do about it?

BECK
Apologize?

TORI
Good boy!  Have a cookie!

She puts a cookie in his mouth, smiling.

4 – INT – HOLLYWOOD ARTS HIGH – HALLWAY OUTSIDE ALEX’S LOCKER

Alex is taking his books out of his locker.  Tori, Jade and Beck come up to him.

BECK
Hey.

Alex looks over at them, and then at Beck.
ALEX(coolly)
Hey.

BECK
Listen, I’ve been a bit of a jerk to you lately.

ALEX
I noticed.

BECK
Sorry, man.  That was all me, and had nothing to do with you.

Alex just looks at him.  Beck extends his hand for a fist bump.
BECK
We cool?

Alex fist bumps him.
ALEX
We cool.

Jade and Tori look on, shocked.
JADE
That’s it?!?

TORI
You aren’t even going to hug?

Beck and Alex look at them like they’re crazy.
Beck/Alex(simultaneously)
We’re guys!

Ruby Jades Diary: Field of Innocence

You know, Balmorra was actually a very pretty planet.  It had nice open fields, some forests, some mountains, all sorts of pretty natural sites.  And it didn’t have the infestation of nobles that Alderaan had.  Sure, it had an infestation of strange bug-like creatures, but if they caused issues you could just up and kill them, no fuss, no muss, no feasts or soothing words, just the pleasing sound of a lightsaber as it slices through flesh and leaves them dying on the ground.

Is that a bit much?  I don’t really need to leave around incriminating evidence of a possible fall to the Dark Side.

Anyway, the guy on our ship wanted to get to be president of Balmorra, since he was the next in line of the people who were somewhere in the neighbourhood and likely still alive.  But the Imperials were running the planet and had it under some kind of Sith governor, and he wanted her dealt with before he could do that.  So, I could have gone in and just offed her, but of course things were more complicated than that.  We needed to get the local resistance on-board, and that meant talking to their nominal leader, Zenith.  And while you might think he’d jump at the chance to get help from the Republic to take back his planet, of course he didn’t.  To be fair, he had a point that the Republic had abandoned them before but, hey, I was here and I was going to carve my way through all obstacles and finish it all off, so he had nothing to worry about.  But he still wanted me to run some errands for him.  I sighed and did it.  Maybe I can show some patience after all.  Or maybe the fact that it involved killing a lot of people made it seem more fun.

Anyway, we finally got them on board and they started to help us in our quest.  We heard that the old president was still alive and a captive of the Sith governor, so we used Zenith’s men to assault the prison while I went in with freaky lizard guy to free the prisoners and find out where the president was.  Zenith … yeah, he’s kinda hardcore, keeping his guys around longer than they needed to be around and being willing to kill them all.  Yeah, you do that when needed but he didn’t really need to do that.

So, anyway, in order to clear this off I had to face some Sith, first one of the governor’s lackeys and then the governor yourself.  You know, I don’t think I want to join the Sith after all.  They spend a lot of their time ranting about how great they are and how powerful they are and how they’re going to completely destroy me.  There’s a lot of arrogance there that I find really, really annoying.

(Not … a … word.  At least I can back up my bragging, as shown by my killing them all without really breaking a sweat).

Anyway, we freed the president and, well, his mind was gone.  I tried some Jedi techniques to see if it could bring him back but it didn’t work.  So they suggested plugging some kind of technology in his head to make him seem lucid so that he could pass the title on.  I told them not to do that.  First, that’s just creepy.  Second, that’s the sort of thing that comes back to bite you in the butt, usually in the middle of the speech when it goes completely wrong and he starts looking like he’s doing some kind of strange new dance or starts repeatedly walking into a wall or something.  Besides, showing him as he really is works better because it gives them something to rally behind.  Let us never forget what the Sith did to our fearless leader!  So that’s what we did, and it settled the whole thing.  Tai Cordon was happy with the situation and and got to be leader and he told Zenith to stay with me because, well, I think he was more than a little scared of Zenith.

Of course, as part of that we had to do something for the general war effort, and for once I didn’t mind the Council’s suggestion that I help out.  First, it made my job easier.  Second, it made my other job easier, since the guys that I was supposed to be impressing would know about and care about those planets and if I did good things for them they’d trust me more.  So I headed out to try to help the Republic take the planet.

A big part of the issue was that Balmorra liked to build weapons, and they had built a big one that could wipe out entire fleets.  So we needed to get control of it first.  The general put me in touch with a hacker who could get us some info, but he was working for the Imperials, so I had to get in there to rescue him and then do some other stuff to hide that I was just there to get him.  Didn’t work, as the Imperials went after the group he worked with anyway.  The general wanted to let them die to get some kind of advantage  This was pretty much a theme, as I had to get some of the scientists out of prison to help find and stop the thing, and one of them and the general wanted me to create some kind of spike for it instead of saving a bunch of people, but I decided to save the people.  And then finally they cobbled together a spike and when I fought through everyone, the general wanted me to take over this weapon instead of destroying it.  I decided to destroy it.

Look, I’m not a nice person.  I’m not doing this because I’m some sort of saint or something.  I’m doing this because I’m not an idiot.  Hey, let’s let the people who got caught trying to help us die!  That’ll make people want to help us!  Hey, let’s let the civilians of the planet die!  You know, the ones that already think that we’re fair weather friends and will bail on them when they need us if it suits our interest!  Let’s just betray them again!  That’ll make them like us again!

But the worst was with the weapon.  Yeah, the weapon can destroy fleets.  But it pretty much destroys the planet that it’s deployed from.  The general wanted control of it so that he could use it, but using it is pretty much cutting off your nose to spite your face.  Yeah, you can destroy that fleet heading for that planet.  And you’ll end up wiping out that planet that you wanted to save.  Yeah, that’s smart.  And the Sith could actually find a use for that sort of weapon, because they know that the Republic would never risk sending a fleet to a planet that they cared about — like, supposedly, Balmorra — in case the Sith decided that it was worth it to wipe out the planet and the fleet at the same time.  And the Sith wouldn’t be stupid enough to put it on a planet that they cared about losing (well, maybe they would, because they seem to like killing off all their important people in odd ways.  Another reason not to join them).  But if we set it up on a planet that we cared about and were in control of, then the Sith might just send a fleet to see what we’d do.  If we trigger it, they lose a fleet and ruin a planet that we cared about.  Yeah, you could argue that wiping out that fleet would save other worlds, but again we’re dealing with the Sith who generally don’t care about those sorts of casualties.

So it was a stupid idea to try to control it.  And the general was stupid for wanting to.  So I stopped him from being an idiot.  Seems like that’s been my job since I was knighted way back on Tython.

Wonder what idiocy this alliance of diplomats will want me to stop next.

Ruby Jades Diary: Everybody’s Fool

So I was wrong, okay?

So first we were told to take a short break, at which point the companions decided to make me deal with their personal problems!  Freaky lizard guy said that he was going to have to do some kind of purification rite that would result in him — yuck! — shedding his skin, but that he had to fight through it anyway and so wanted to go out with me and hoped that he wouldn’t collapse during a fight.  Meanwhile, Tharan got a message from some nerdy science club who wanted to make him a member and wanted to spend a lot of time figuring out a really cool invention to impress them so that he could win some contest.  I encouraged it.  After all, the time he spends doing that is time he isn’t spending hitting on me.

Anyway, the Jedi Council called me back in and said that due to the calm, peace and patience that I had shown in the previous mission they were making me a Jedi Master.  They, uh, they don’t know me too well, do they?  And then they decided to give me a mission that would test my almost non-existent patience, babysitting a bunch of delegates from some non-aligned worlds to get them to join, hopefully before I killed them all.

Truly this was going to be my toughest challenge yet.

And of course things started off swimmingly, with their ship being attacked by the Empire and the Empire having all the delegates locked up, except the daughter of one of them, who let me in and let me know where to go, and then instead of sitting tight decided to try to stop the Mandalorian who was running things from killing her father, who of course protested that she shouldn’t be putting herself at risk, and then I stopped the argument by showing up and trouncing the Mandalorian.  Anyway, the ship was set to crash on the planet and kill a bunch of people, and then someone suggested that we could point it at the moon of the planet and kill less people, but then Nadia — the daughter — said that if we worked together we might be able to get it into orbit, and despite the objections of one senator — oh, she’s going to be fun to work with — who just wanted to leave it to crash I decided to go with that last option, and since I had both a lightsaber and the only ship that could get them out of here they went along with it.  And it worked.

So they bitched about the Republic for a bit and want me to go and help Balmorra, which is a war zone right now.  Hey, anything to get me away from these whiners before I kill them.

Ruby Jades Diary: The Last Song I’m Wasting on You

So I get back to the Council, expecting that they’ll tell me that they know Vivicar is Parkanas and they have a lead and … the guy who had been overseeing the mission — and so had all the information I had and likely even more — was wringing his hands and going “Woe is me!” over how they have no idea who Vivicar is or how to find him.  I really, really wanted to smack him upside the head, but I settled for gently — for me, anyway — pointing out that Vivicar was obviously Parkanas trying to get revenge for being left behind all those years ago.  I mean, he was targeting everyone on that mission, knew all their secrets, and the only reason we had for thinking he was dead was because he was left behind and certain to die, and if you’ve paid attention to any of the holos you know that that only means that they’re guaranteed to survive and be very bitter about it.  I know Jedi don’t get out much but come on.  This one was obvious.

Anyway, at least Master Yuon agreed with me and figured out that she could use the link she had with him to track him.  This was risky, because it forced me to remove the shielding and for her to link up with Vivicar again, the strain of which could kill her.  And if she managed to survive that, she was going to attack me again, which again was something that could kill her depending on how patient I was feeling that day.

But, hey, I respect the risk she took and her willingness to put her life on the line, so I ended up shielding her again.  She gave me the location, and I headed out there to deal with him.  Yep, it turned out to be Parkanas, but he had a special prize inside!  He was possessed by the spirit of the Sith who came up with the plague in the first place.  We fought, and I managed to put him down, but the spirit inside him said that if I just killed him I would kill off all the Masters who had been infected, even the ones I had saved.

So this left me with a bit of a problem.  I so wanted to kill him, but I hadn’t worked so hard to keep those Masters alive to kill them off now.  Sure, I guess I could explain that I had to do it out of necessity and so they wouldn’t think I was going Dark Side, but I hate wasting effort.  But on the other hand, maybe he was lying.  The one thing that would get a Jedi to not kill him would be to threaten to kill lots of other people at the same time, but he was facing the one Jedi who wasn’t going to be bothered by that.  So maybe this was the move that would foil his plans, and letting him live would fulfill them.  On the gripping hand, I don’t think that he would see this move that I was thinking of coming, and so it was likely he hadn’t thought of it.

So I figured I’d take the advice of a guy I knew long ago, who said that you should always choose to do the thing that will most annoy the person you’re competing with.  Wait, he said that that was what I always do.  And it wasn’t advice.  Still, I might as well be consistent, so I took the option that I figured would most annoy him:  I shielded Parkanas, figuring that that would evict the Sith Lord and leave him, well, disembodied.

It seemed to work, although on the way out Parkanas told me not to trust the Republic and the Jedi and, well, pretty much anyone.  Okay, well first I already knew that, and second you would think that someone who people thought was crazy but was getting a chance to go back to Tython to prove he wasn’t crazy wouldn’t talk crazy to the person who still had a lightsaber handy and only spared him because she thought that he likely wasn’t crazy.

Still, I let him live.  He’s not really my problem anymore.  Let someone else kill him if he needs a killin’.

So, back to the Council.  I can’t imagine that what they might have for me to do next will be worse than this.

Go West

1 – INTERIOR – HOLLYWOOD ARTS HIGH – MAIN HALLWAY

Jade and Cat enter by the stairs.

JADE
So you got it, right?

CAT
I got it!

JADE
You’re sure you got it right?

CAT
I’m sure!

JADE
Good, because we spent three hours trying to find you when you got it wrong the last time.

CAT
That was a long time ago!

JADE
That was last week!

CAT
Oh, yeah.

JADE
So you’ve got it?  You’re meeting us a Karaoke Doke after your dance class?

CAT
Okie dokie!

Jade glares at her, but then looks over and notices Alex at his locker.
JADE
I’m going to go over and invite Alex.  You should get going.

CAT
Okelie dokelie!

Jade glares at her again, and then moves off towards Alex.
JADE
Hey, the gang is going to Karaoke Doke after school.  You’re coming, right?

Alex is putting books in his bag and doesn’t look up.
ALEX
I don’t know.  I’ve got a lot of work to do and I think there’s some lasagna left over at home.

JADE
Hey!

Alex looks up at her.
JADE
You are coming, right?

Alex looks suspicious.
ALEX
It’s not my birthday.

Jade looks confused.
ALEX
And I don’t like surprise parties.

JADE
A surprise party?  No one would do something that lame!

ALEX
Tori would.

JADE
Well, okay, that goes without saying.  But why are you talking about surprise parties?

ALEX
Because I can’t think of any reason why you’d be so … insistent that I come to Karaoke Doke after school.

JADE
I wasn’t insistent!

Alex crosses his arms and gives her a “Oh, really?” look.
JADE
I wasn’t any more insistent than I always am!

Alex continues to give her that look.
JADE
It’s just that, well, everyone else is going and it’s nice to have someone that I can have an intelligent conversation with and … look, are you going to come or not?

ALEX
Okay.

JADE
Great.  We’re all supposed to be there after Cat’s dance class.

She starts to walk away.  Alex keeps watching her as she walks away.  As if she senses that, she suddenly turns around.
JADE
Hey!  Are you staring at my butt?

ALEX
I can say with total honesty that I was not staring at your butt!

Jade looks almost disappointed.
JADE
Oh.  Well, good!

She walks away.  Alex keeps looking at her until she’s out of earshot.
ALEX
I was staring at your legs.

Alex hefts his bag and starts to walk away.
ALEX(singing)
But I’m dreamin’ about her face.

He walks off.  Cat pokes her head out from behind some lockers with a shocked expression on her face.

2 – INT – HOLLYWOOD ARTS HIGH – HALLWAY BY JADE’S LOCKER

Jade and Cat are standing by Jade’s locker.

CAT
So, Karaoke Doke was fun yesterday, wasn’t it?

JADE
Well, it was more fun than trying to figure out where you were, like the time before that!

CAT
That was one time!

JADE
And the time before that.  And the time before that …

CAT
Anyway … it was nice that Alex managed to join us, wasn’t it?

JADE
I guess.

CAT
Usually he’s too busy.

JADE
Yeah.

CAT
Usually no one can convince him to come but you just asked him and he came.

JADE
Yeah, funny that.

CAT
And you usually don’t ask anyone else to come along.

Jade looks at her suspiciously.
CAT
So it was …

JADE
What?!?  Strange that I’d ask him to come along, as if I liked him or wanted to date him or something?!?

CAT
I was gonna say nice …

JADE
So, what, you think I’d want to date my best friend’s ex?!?  You think that I’d do something so terrible?!?

CAT
Uh, terrible?

JADE
I wouldn’t do what Tori did when she was dating Daniel!

CAT
Um, I was the one …

JADE
I won’t date my best friend’s ex, no matter how much I might want to!  And I don’t want to!  So just drop it!

Jade storms off.
CAT
Sorry I brought it up?

3 – EXT – ASPHALT CAFE

Alex and Cat are sitting at their usual table.

CAT
So Alex?

ALEX
So Cat.

CAT
What do you think of Jade?

ALEX(suspicious)
In what way?

CAT
Well, in no special way, really, just as, well, Jade.

ALEX
She’s the Jadest person I know.

CAT
Do you think you might ever … well …

ALEX(raising an eyebrow)
Go West?

CAT(shocked)
No!

Cat thinks for an instant.
CAT
Wait, what does that mean?

ALEX
You know, if I might possibly, in some way, be interested in dating her.

CAT
Oh!  Then yeah, that’s exactly what I mean!

ALEX
She’s the best friend of my ex.  Even if I wanted to, that’s just not done.

CAT
Why not?

ALEX
Well, in most cases the breakups aren’t good and so it’s a moot point.  But if it isn’t a bad breakup then there’s always the chance that the ex will have a hard time with it.

CAT
But what if they won’t?

ALEX(shrugging)
How could they ever determine that?

CAT
They could ask!

ALEX
And what friend would say that they would?  No, they’d most likely say that they were totally fine with it even when they weren’t, and then it would eat at them, and that way lies exploding cheese fountains!

Cat gasps.

ALEX
So, you see, there’s just no way to make certain that the ex is okay with it, and if they aren’t things really don’t go well.  So, it’s just not done.

CAT
So there’s no way that she could show that she was okay with it?

ALEX
I can’t think of any gesture that would be dramatic enough to prove it.

Alex looks at his watch.
ALEX
Anyway, I’ve got to go.  See you later.

He walks off.  Cat watches him go.
CAT
I can think of one …

4 – INT – FANCY RESTAURANT

Alex is sitting at a table, waiting.  Jade arrives and is shown to the table.

JADE
What are you doing here?

ALEX
Waiting for Cat.  She asked me to meet her here for dinner.

Jade sits down at the table.
JADE
Cat asked me to meet her here for dinner.

ALEX
Huh.  That’s strange … and not in a Cat way.

JADE
It’s strange in a suspicious way, is what it is.

ALEX
This is indeed an awfully fancy place for Cat to want to go to dinner.

JADE
And there are only two chairs at the table.

ALEX
And Cat’s not here yet.

JADE
And she does forget to show up!

ALEX
But she doesn’t forget who she invited out with her.

JADE
Very often, anyway.

They both look suspicious.  At that moment Cat arrives.
CAT
Hi!

JADE
Caaat?  What’s going on?

CAT
You might be wondering why I invited you both here this evening.

ALEX
We were wondering that, yes.

CAT
Well, I know that the two of you want to date each other …

Alex and Jade both explode into protest.  Cat cuts them off.
CAT
Shush!  I know that you want to date each other and know that you won’t admit it to anyone because you’re worried that I won’t be okay with it.  But Jade, you’re my best friend and Alex, you’re still a good friend to me even though you’re my ex.  So I’m showing you that I’m okay with it.

They look like they are going to start to protest again, and Cat shuts them down with a look.
CAT
So, this is your date.  You’re going to have a really nice dinner and you’re going to talk.  And then you’re going to go a movie after.  The tickets are in this envelope.  And if you have fun and like each other and make each other happy, great!  And if you don’t, then you stay friends.  Okay?

They both look like they’re going to protest again.
CAT
Okay?!?

ALEX(sighing)
Okay.

JADE
Fine.

CAT
Good.  Have fun!

Cat leaves.
ALEX
Well, this is certainly a restaurant for dates.

JADE
Let’s see what movie she picked.

She opens the envelope.
JADE
“The Scissoring:  Sharpest Cut”

ALEX
That’s a surprisingly good horror series.

JADE(surprised)
You like “The Scissoring”?

ALEX
I probably watch the series once a year or so.

JADE
Well, Cat certainly thought of everything!

ALEX
I think there’s probably something she missed.

JADE
What?

ALEX
I’ll bet she stuck us with the check!

They laugh.
CAT(from offscreen)
No I didn’t!

Ruby Jades Diary: The Game is Over

So, you might have been thinking that the Jedi Council was finally sending me someplace nice:  Alderaan!  And you’d almost be right.  Even I have to admit that the planet is really beautiful.  Lush forests, open grasslands, lovely ancient architecture, all of which you can watch from the back of a magnificent flying animal as you travel from place to place.  But it also contains the worst sort of scum and villains in the entire galaxy:  nobles.

Look, I’m not opposed to a life of privilege and luxury.  I’d really like to have that for myself someday.  But these nobles don’t work for it.  They just get it handed to them.  Not because they are strong.  Not because they are nice.  Not because they are smart.  Heck, not even because they are competent.  But just because they were born into the right family.  It kinda makes a mockery of the people who weren’t born into something anywhere near that good.

So, of course what the Jedi Council needed me to help with involved the nobles.  There’s some kind of succession battle going on and when I arrived the first thing they asked me to do was defuse a bunch of bombs near the spaceport that could … blow up a good chunk of the planet.  Hey, I know what’ll be a good way to attack our enemies!  Let’s blow everything up!  We’ll win for sure and after all that we’ll rule a smoking wasteland that’ll totally be worth ruling!  I mean, look, I can be pretty vindictive and sometimes I’ll think about making it so that if I can’t have it no one can, but that’s not when I still expect to have it at the end!

Nobles.

Anyway, that brought me to House Organa, and the leader guy and the general guy thanked me for my help and then the leader guy said he was going to throw a feast in my honour.  I told him that I just wanted to get on with the job, and so he told me that, oh yeah, there were some small attacks going on and I should help him with that.  Yeah, so let’s stop for a banquet before doing that.  Well, anyway, that was easy, and so after I cleared that up the big general on the other side called up and told the leader guy to come meet him or he’d kill some hostages he’d taken.  So we went, but it turns out the general guy wanted me instead because, well, I was actually competent.  Now, what you’d expect a Jedi to do here is accept being drugged and imprisoned for a while until the general could get his act together and win through.  I on the other hand wasn’t going to trust him as far as I could throw him, and he made the mistake of making the threat in person.  So I killed him and all the guys he brought with him.  I think he managed to get the order out to kill the hostages before I did that but, well, that’s on him, not on me.  I refuse to feel guilty because some idiot decided that he wanted to kill a bunch of innocent people to try to get at me and the leader guy.

Anyway, after that there was a big fight, and the leader guy asked me to take out some of the Sith because there was no way their regular troops could do that.  Finally, a real challenge!  Or, well, it might have been except that, well, I’m still awesome, and they weren’t all that awesome.  After I put a bunch of them down, the rest ran away and the attack was broken.  Maybe it was a good idea for me to train with the Jedi instead of the Sith …

Anyway, after all of that the leader guy wanted me to stick around, but I told him that he had to handle things on his own, which ticked off the general guy but … what did I care?  I didn’t answer to him anyway.  So of course the leader guy said he wanted to throw a feast in my honour but I really had to get going.

And what’s with it with these guys and throwing banquets?  It seems like pretty much any time they do anything at all it’s “Let’s have a feast to celebrate!”.  “Hey, we made it up the stairs, let’s have a feast!”.

Then again, there were a lot of steps in the palace leading to the room where the leader guy hung out.  Maybe they kept throwing feasts because after walking up those stairs they needed something to eat.

Anyway, for my actual mission it turned out that the Jedi Master who was corrupted was organizing a peace conference and had started acting strangely aggressive and standoffish.  Or, at least, that was how she was described by my contact and I wisely didn’t mention that she was acting pretty much the way I act all the time.   But since she didn’t want any help I didn’t have a way to get to her unless I was sponsored by a noble house, and all of them already had representatives, except for one weak house that didn’t have anyone that would, well, survive getting there, so they’d see me as a good option!

On the way there, I stopped to help with an attack by some bug people that were being riled up by the Empire.  So I figured out where they were generating this kind of signal or something that was driving them nuts and went in to stop it.  The guy running the place made the usual noises about he and his troops and his bugs killing me, but as I’ve already established I’m awesome so it didn’t work.  And then the researcher who had wanted it stopped called me up and asked me to give the research to her so that she could use it against the Empire.  Okay, I’m all in favour of using any method you need to use in order to get the job done, but first all this did was drive the bugs insane.  It didn’t bring them under the control of the Empire, but just drove them insane which made them uncontrollable.  You don’t want to try to use a weapon you don’t understand that could backfire that insanely.  And second, the Empire knew about it and so likely could do what we did and figure it out, which would mean that we’d have the two of them driving bug people at each other for all eternity.  So putting aside the morality of it, this was just a really stupid idea.

I didn’t rat her out, though.  Why would I call her out?  It’s not like I was all that bothered by the morality of her idea, just her stupidity.  And stupidity can be cured.  Or ignored.  Or at least isn’t my problem.

Anyway, the house that I was supposed to get to sponsor me was under attack.  Of course.  And after I fought the attack off, they wanted me to arrange a marriage with House Organa so that they’d have some power … but then the prospective groom was kidnapped.  So I had to rescue him.  And after I did that, they finally made me their representative.  Yay.

On the way to the conference, I was stopped by a guy whose daughter said she had important information after playing at spying by going undercover in a house of assassins — they’re themed now? — and asked me to get her out and convince her to give up spying.  Anyway, when I got there she tried to bluff the guy in charge as a distraction, but she started talking about me as if I was part of some impressive force or something, so I asked her if she had lost her mind.  She played it off as a code, but the reason I did that was because she was being, well, stupid.  She was playing it off as connections instead of playing off of my being a powerful Jedi, and even worse was trying to intimidate him without letting me intimidate him.  I didn’t mind her mocking, and mocked the guy myself — which got him really frustrated with both of us, so mission accomplished — but she really needed to let the person with the lightsaber and who was outside the cage take the lead on this.

Anyway, soon after he was put down and I took the information she had and didn’t even try to convince her to give up the spy life.  Hey, I know what it’s like to have a father who doesn’t support your dreams, and bluster aside she didn’t do a bad job.  It’s not my place to solve their family problems, just like it’s not their place to solve mine.

So, the information was about an attempt to blow up a bridge, and so the guy asked me nicely to deal with that on my way to the conference, so I obliged.  Hey, what’s killing a few more soldiers when I’ve killed oh, so many today?

At the conference, it turns out that the Jedi Master was trying to convince them to go to war with each other, as is of course the perfect thing to do at a peace conference.  So even though I’m not at all suited for that sort of thing I settled things down enough until I managed to do the thing that I’m really suited for and ticked off the Jedi Master, who then attacked me.  Turns out she had the same training I did.  So I finally realized just how annoying that shower of small rocks really is.  Didn’t save her, though.

No, I didn’t kill her.  Instead I shielded her like I had the others.  The delegates then asked me what to do and my answer was … figure it out yourselves.  I’m the wrong person to ask if you want to figure out how to form a lasting peace.

Anyway, the Jedi Council wanted me to do one last thing.  See, the throne was supposed to go to a certain house, but someone else took it over.  Turns out he was a hero of the Republic but now wanted the planet to go to the Empire.  So they sent me in to depose him.  The leader of the house wanted me to kill him and the Republic wanted me to bring him to trial.  I figured I do what was easiest.  Anyway, when I got there he blustered and then hid behind a shield, but he left all sorts of rockets around to blow up the generators.  Doing that required me to fight off the troops he had on hand.  So let’s review.  He hid behind a shield and set things up so that the only way to get him out would be to take out all of his reinforcements first.  Guess how long he lasted after I got the shield down?

At the end, he blustered about being a great hero and all of that, and so I had to decide whether to capture or kill him and … I killed him.  Why?  Well, the guys who had to deal with all this crap wanted him dead and his bluster and his record made him dangerous, which is why they wanted him dead.  The Republic wanted him captured because they didn’t want to get their hands dirty.  I have no problem getting my hands dirty.

(Figuratively, not literally.  You don’t spend this many credits on a manicure and go digging around in the dirt, after all).

So now it’s back to the Council to figure out our next step, which I hope is going to be kicking Vivicar’s butt, who I’m certain is actually Parkanas.  But I guess everyone else has already figured that out.  I mean, it’s obvious, right?

Inheritance of the Old Republic (Chapter 15)

“So why do you want to talk to me about this?”  Kyle Katarn asked.

“Process of elimination, mostly, ” Kyp replied.  “Luke’s busy talking to Strachan getting his opinion about his new Jedi Order.”

“And hoping that Strachan’s advice will help him solve his own problems, ” Kyle added.  “Some of them caused by you.”

Kyp winced.  “You didn’t need to remind me of that, ” he accused.

Kyle shrugged.  “If you wanted a counselor, you should have asked Cilghal for a recommendation, ” he replied.

“Anyway, I can’t go to Corran because, well, he’s the one who’s been helping me cause all the problems for Luke, and he has his own issues to deal with, ” Kyp continued.

“Sure.  But you didn’t answer the question:  why me?” Kyle asked.

“Because you’re one of the few Jedi at my level who might … be able to understand what I’ve gone through.”

“Because of the Dark Side?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah.  I know that this isn’t the first time that I’ve, uh, gone Dark …”

Kyle raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

“But this time is different.  I thought I’d managed to keep it under control but it was so … easy for me to fall this time, ” Kyp continued.

“But from what Strachan told us, she had the ability to create Force Bonds that directly influenced the people around her to conform to her alignment, ” Kyle noted.  “This would be one of the few times when you’ve … ‘Gone Dark’ that it really wasn’t your fault.”

“But then why did she pick me?” Kyp demanded.

Kyle raised an eyebrow again.  “Excuse me?” he asked.

“She could have picked any Master, or even a Knight or Padawan.  They should have been easier to influence anyway.  All she needed was a meat shield, really, and not any skills I had.  At least Corran’s needed his detective skills and influence.  So why me?” Kyp replied.

“Why do you think she picked you?” Kyle asked.

“I think she picked me because she knew that I could be influenced to the Dark Side, that I had that in me and she could use it to exploit me, ” Kyp replied.

“All before she met you?” Kyle asked.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kyp demanded.

“Well, unless she had extremely good Force visions, for the most part she’d be choosing who to approach based on the information that’s out in public, right?” Kyle asked.

“Well, I guess … ” Kyp replied.

“So, what’s out there about you is that you’re one of the most powerful Jedi Masters … ” Kyle continued.

“Sure, ” Kyp acknowledged.

“… and that you’re at least seen to be something of a ladies man, ” Kyle finished.

“And?” Kyp asked, puzzled.

“Well, she’d want to get as powerful a Jedi as she could since she didn’t know exactly what she was going to face, correct?” Kyle asked.

“I’ll buy that, ” Kyp replied.

“And there’s a good reason for her to think that you being a ladies man would work for her, ” Kyle continued.

“Which is?” Kyp asked.

“That a Force Bond isn’t primarily about alignment, but is mostly about affection and attachment, ” Kyle explained.

A look of sudden realization came across Kyp’s face.

Kyle noted it and continued, “And it would be easier for her to convince you that you were interested in her than to convince you that going to the Dark Side was the right way to go.”

“Plus, it would be easy for me to fall into the trap of thinking that I was manipulating her while she was actually manipulating me, ” Kyp added.

“Makes sense, ” Kyle commented.

Kyp thought for a minute.  “So she picked me not because I’m prone to the Dark Side, but instead because I’m a bit of a cad?”

Kyle nodded.

“I’m not sure that makes me feel that much better, ” Kyp said.

Kyle shrugged. “If you wanted a counselor …” he said, smiling.

****************************************************

Corran stood looking out over the cityscape of Coruscant, brooding, when his wife came up to him.

“Here you are, ” she said.

“Here I am, ” Corran replied.

“People have been looking for you, ” she said.  “They want to congratulate the hero of the hour.”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to get away from, ” Corran commented dryly.

“Do you want to be alone?” she asked.

“No, I just don’t really feel like celebrating, ” Corran replied.  “I feel more like a failure than a hero.”

Mirax looked at him sympathetically.  “Because of Alana?” she asked.

“Yeah, ” Corran replied.

She came up and tucked herself into the crook of his arm, but didn’t say anything.

“It’s just … I spent a lot of time with her, ” Corran said.  “And even though I figured out pretty quickly that she was Dark, she was … well, she was just a young girl, like any other.  She talked like one.  She got excited over the sorts of things that they get excited over.  She … well, she could have been a younger sister …”

“Or a daughter?” Mirax asked.

Corran nodded.  “Or a daughter.  I really thought that I’d be able to sway her back to the Light.  So when I had to kill her …”

“You felt like you failed her, ” Mirax finished.

Corran nodded again.

Mirax looked him straight in the eye.  “Corran, despite what Luke sometimes seems to think, not everyone can be saved.  Maybe at a different time, in different circumstances, maybe you could have saved her.  But remember that even her grandfather, with his visions, didn’t think she could be saved.  You did all you could, you made the offer, she rejected it and you had to kill her to save the lives of a lot of people … including Luke … and me”

Corran sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I know you’re right. ” he said.  “But, well …”

“But it still sucks, ” she said.

“Yeah, it still sucks, ” he agreed.

They just stood there for a while.  Finally, Mirax asked, “Want to join the others?”

“Let’s just stay here a little longer, ” he replied.

******************************************

“So tell me more about how the Council worked in those days, ” Luke asked.

Strachan raised an eyebrow.  “Do you want to know the details so that you know how to build your Council … or avoid the problems that brought their Council down?” he asked.

“A little bit of both, to be honest, ” Luke replied.

“Well, let me answer the last part, then.  See, the issue for the Council in those days was that it became more of status symbol than a working Council.  Getting on the Council proved that you were strong, powerful, wise and one of the leading lights of the Council.  That meant that the powerful were appointed to the Council instead of those who really should be there, ” Strachan replied.

“Some of the Council members shouldn’t have been there?” Luke asked, puzzled.  “I mean, with the ability to see in the future, shouldn’t they have been able to weed them out?”

“I think you might be thinking of things at too grand a scale, ” Strachan chided him.  “It’s not that they shouldn’t have been there because they were going to fall to the Dark Side or cause major galactic issues.  It’s just that they weren’t suited for the role they needed to play.  Take, for example, Mace Windu …”

“He’s one of the most respected Jedi from the Clone Wars, ” Luke commented, puzzled.

“Yeah, and he was a powerful Jedi and a strong combatant.  What he wasn’t was particularly wise or, well, patient.  He could cut a dashing authority figure, and so he worked as a figurehead when more sensible Jedi like Yoda were around …”

“… a figurehead on the Jedi Council?” Luke exploded, aghast.

Strachan shook his head.  “Not in the official sense.  But he was strong and powerful and charismatic and people rallied around him, but he relied on the words of Jedi like Yoda to ensure that the right actions were taken.  When the Jedi spread out to deal with the Clone Wars and he was left in charge, he took direct action, since that’s what he was good at.  And that … didn’t work out so well for him, and the galaxy.”

“I see, ” Luke commented.

“That attitude of the Council indicating power was also partly responsible for your father’s fall, ” Strachan continued.

“Go on, ” Luke encouraged, greatly interested.

“Well, your father was a very proud man.  He reacted … badly to any hint that he wasn’t as powerful as he thought he was, or being denied anything that he felt was due him because of his power level.  So he desperately wanted to become a Master and wanted to be on the Council because it would prove how powerful he was.  And since only Masters made it onto the Council, it was seen as the achievement for the elite Jedi, which he saw himself as.  When they made him a member of the Council but didn’t make him a Master, he saw that as an explicit rebuke to him and his power, ” Strachan explained.

“Why did they do that?” Luke asked.

“Ironically, as a rebuke to Palpatine, ” Strachan replied.  “He wanted Anakin on the Council, and so to avoid clashing with the government they put him there … but in a way that flat-out told Palpatine that what he asked for was invalid.  And Anakin got caught in the middle.”

“Which left Anakin vulnerable to Palpatine, ” Luke added.

“Adding in that both Palpatine and the Council were asking him to spy on the other, and it was only natural that Anakin would see that they weren’t all that different … but Palpatine clearly respected him and his abilities, and it wasn’t clear that the Jedi did, ” Strachan finished.

Luke thought for a while.  “So how can I avoid doing the same thing?” Luke said.  “Surely it only makes sense to have Masters on the Council, doesn’t it?  And that risks people seeing it as a status symbol, which from what you say is the problem.”

“Remember, I’ve had access to the entire Jedi archives.  There have been lots of times when someone who was a mere Knight was put on the Council if they had abilities that it needed.  So if you needed a diplomat, for example, appointing your sister would be a good choice, ” Strachan replied.

“But … she’s barely a Knight!” Luke exclaimed.

Strachan shrugged.  “Again, it’s not time in service or Force abilities that make a good Council member, but what role they can fill, ” he explained.  “So far, your Council, out of necessity, seems fine because it’s all the people with all the different experiences after the Purge that create a good Council.  As long as you don’t let it be a status symbol, something to aspire to, you’ll be okay.”

“You aren’t staying around, though, are you?” Luke asked.

Strachan smiled.  “I was never around much in the old days because my power’s too hard to control, and I don’t see any reason to change that now, ” he replied.

**************************************

“So, Strachan’s gone, but he’s left us access to the full set of Jedi archives that he’d rescued when he went into hiding, ” Luke was saying.

“That should give us enough to comb through for years, ” Kam Solusar commented.

“Should we be worried that he’ll use his powers like Shanna used hers?” Kyle Katarn commented.

“I don’t think so, ” Corran commented.  “From his history, if he’d wanted to do that he’d have done that a long time ago.  It really seems like he wants to go off on his own and be away from people.”

“And do research, ” Luke commented.  “He left a comm channel where we can contact him if we need to, and where he’ll drop messages every so often telling us what, if anything, he’s learned.”

“So, from this little adventure, we’ve found out the history of the Star Forge and the Exile and what happened to their abilities, received a copy of the Jedi Archives, and have a new experienced source of advice?” Cilghal noted.  “Seems like a fairly efficient use of resources.”

“You probably wouldn’t think that if you’d been there, ” Corran commented.  Kyp just looked glum.

“Anyway, “ Luke broke in.  “What we really have is a host of resources that we haven’t had before, a host of resources where we can learn from the past what went right … and how to stop things from going wrong.  All we need to do is listen.”

All of the other members of the Jedi Council nodded solemnly.