All I Want For Christmas is Spoo

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree

 

I just want some for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is spoo, yeah

 

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree

 

I don’t need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won’t make me happy
With a toy on Christmas Day

 

I just want some for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is spoo
Spoo, baby

 

Oh, I won’t ask for much this Christmas
I won’t even wish for snow
And I’m just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe

 

I won’t make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won’t even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click

 

‘Cause I just want some here tonight
Sighing softly through the night
What more can I do?
Baby, all I want for Christmas is spoo
Spoo, baby

 

Oh, all the lights are shining so brightly everywhere
And the sound of children’s laughter fills the air

And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa, won’t you bring me what I really need?
Won’t you please bring my dinner to me?

 

Oh, I don’t want a lot for Christmas
This is all I’m asking for
I just wanna see my order
Sitting right outside my door

 

Oh, I just want some for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want for Christmas… is spoo
Spoo, baby

 

All my scheduled games are PC now.

(Loosely to the tune of “All My Rowdy Friends” by Hank Williams Jr.)

All my scheduled games are PC now
That I can only really play in the middle room
So I can’t really play while watchin’ TV
While sitting in the living room

I myself have seen my console days
And those games are still at the top of the page
When I need to find a game just to play around
But none of them are scheduled right now
And all my scheduled games are PC now

And I think I could play a Persona game
But I’ve got too many games from Good Old Games
So many that I can’t keep ’em straight

And even though I’m home more these days
See none of them are scheduled right now
And all my scheduled games are PC now

And the leftovers annoy more then they used to
And Bloodlines and TOR took the place of Wii and PS4
And it seems like I really don’t do things quite like I used to do
And none of those are scheduled right now
And all scheduled games are PC now

Yeah, I think I could play Fatal Frame
But those Good Old Games don’t cost a lot of cash
Don’t crash like they did back in 2008

And right now I’m a Toreador playin’ in L.A.
And none of those games are scheduled now
‘Cause all my scheduled games are PC now

It’s Magic …

Dinner, it turns me upside down
Dinner, dinner, dinner
It’s like a merry go round
I see it under the midnight
All steamers and bowls
High pans with the meat a sizzlin’
A tempermental glow

Oh, think it’s time to go
Oh, I’m gonna have some spoo
I’m gonna have some spoo
I’m gonna have some spoo tonight
Oh, I’m gonna have some spoo
I’m gonna have some spoo (I’m gonna have some spoo)
I’ll check

(Oh oh it’s magic) when I eat spoo (oh oh it’s magic)
(Oh oh it’s magic) just a little magic
You know it’s true
I’m gonna have some spoo

Oh, twisted under sideways down
I know I’m getting twisted
And I can’t calm down
I see it under the midnight
Love darts in my eyes
How far can I take it?
‘Till I realize
There’s magic in my eyes

I’m gonna have some spoo
I’m gonna have some spoo
I’m gonna have some spoo tonight
I’m gonna have some spoo
I’m gonna have some spoo
(I’m gonna have some spoo) yeah, yeah, uh

(Oh oh, it’s magic)
Oh oh, when I have spoo
(Oh oh, it’s magic)
Just a little bit of the magic
Pulls me through
I’m gonna have some spoo

I’m gonna have some spoo
I’m gonna have some spoo
(I’m gonna have some spoo)
Just try, it’s magic
(Oh oh, it’s magic)
Oh oh, it’s magic
When I eat spoo (oh oh, it’s magic)

Just a little bit of magic inside of you (Oh oh, it’s magic)

Just a little bit of magic
That’s true, when I eat spoo
(Oh oh, it’s magic)
(It gotta be magic)
Your magic pulls me through
Oh oh, it’s magic
(Oh oh, it’s magic)

Why Can’t I Have Spoo?

I’ve been watching Babylon 5 and listening to The Cars lately, and it has inspired another song parody:

My dreamy lips, set in motion, flashing
Their breathless hush, poundin’ soft, lasting
Oh glossy mouth, a taste untamed, moving
Carousel, up and down
Just like spoo

Oh baby
Just one more time to touch spoo
Just one more time to eat spoo
It’s on my mind
Baby, why can’t I have spoo?
It’s breakin’ my heart in two
You know what I’m goin’ through
Oh baby, why can’t I have spoo?

Oh candy smile, all the while, glinting
Your eyes like mica, a lethal pout, hinting
(Felt the pressure)
Oh and I felt the pressure, tight and warm, softly striking
(Oh tripped and stumbled)
Oh I tripped and stumbled
I cling forever
I’ll eat tonight

Oh baby
Just one more time to touch spoo
Just one more time to eat spoo
I think I’m blind
Baby, why can’t I have spoo?
It’s breakin’ my heart in two
You know what I’m goin’ through
Uh oh baby, why can’t I have spoo?

(Baby) oh baby (why can’t I have spoo?) why can’t I have spoo?
You know what I’m goin’ through
(It’s breakin’ my heart in two)
It’s breakin’ my heart, breakin’ my heart
(Don’t know what I’m gonna do)
(You’re breakin’ my heart) breakin’ my heart
(Baby) oh baby (why can’t I have spoo?) I need spoo
(You know what I’m goin’ through)
It’s breakin’ my heart (it’s breakin’ my heart in two)
Oh baby, I need spoo so much, I need spoo, much
(Don’t know what I’m gonna do)
(You’re breakin’ my heart)
(Baby) oh baby (why can’t I have spoo?)
(You know what I’m goin’ through)

The Sledge Hammer Theme Song …

Whenever I hear this song, I always think about the old Sledge Hammer! TV series and think that this really is Sledge’s theme. Add in that he did the Elvis dancing episode and I get even more associations.

Trigger Happy – Weird Al Yankovic

Got an AK47 well you know it makes me feel alright
Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night
There’s no feeling any greater
Than to shoot first and ask questions later
Now I’m trigger happy,(wooooooo) trigger happy every day

Well, you can’t take my guns away, I got a constitutional right
Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Commies attack us tonight
Ba Ba Ba
I’ll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson
That ought to teach them all a darn good lesson
Now I’m trigger happy,(wooooooo) trigger happy every day

(Oh yeah, I’m)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I’m trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I’m)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I’m trigger, trigger happy
(Oh I’m so)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I’m trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I’m gonna have to blow you away

Oh, I accidently shot daddy last night in the den (Shot daddy in the den)
I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Nazi again
(drug-crazed Nazi again)
Now why’d you have to get so mad?
It was just a lousy flesh wound, Dad
You know, I’m trigger happy,(woooooooo) trigger happy every day

Oh, I still haven’t figured out the safety on my rifle yet
Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet
I filled that kitty cat so full of lead
We’ll have to use him for a pencil instead
Well, I’m trigger happy, trigger happy every day

(Oh yeah, I’m)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I’m trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I’m)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I’m trigger, trigger happy
(Oh I’m so)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I’m trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I’m gonna have to blow you away

Come on and grab your ammo
What have you got to lose?
We’ll get all liquored up
And shoot at anything that moves

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight
(shoot to kill now shoot to kill)
Oh, I’m prayin’ somebody tries to break in here tonight
(shoot to kill now shoot to kill)
I always keep a Magnum in my trunk
You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk?
Because I’m trigger happy, trigger happy every day

(Oh yeah, I’m)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I’m trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I’m)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I’m trigger, trigger happy
(Oh I’m so)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I’m trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I’m gonna have to blow you away
Better watch out, punk, or I’m gonna have to blow you away
Better watch out, punk, or I’m gonna have to blow you away
Better watch out, punk, or I’m gonna have to blow you away

(And if you were expecting something special for my 400th post … well, are you happy [grin]?)

Dare to be Stupid …

So, a local radio station decided to have a “Weird Al Weekend”, where about every hour they played a song by “Weird Al” Yankovic. And I’ve recalled his parodies fondly, and so was looking forward to it … but for various reasons wasn’t going to be able to listen to the radio all day to get the music. So I decided to go out and just buy a CD of his or two, and then I’d be able to listen to it as much or as little as I wanted. So, I did. I picked up the “Essential” collection, and also “Dare to be Stupid”, because as someone who was a fan of Huey Lewis and the News I simply had to have “I Want a New Duck” … and it wasn’t included on the Essential CD. And so I was listening to them while trying to fix my computer-type problems at work.

Stephen Thompson opines in the cover to the Essential version:

… the music keeps getting more accomplished, even symphonic. Listen to “Another One Rides the Bus” on this collection, skip ahead eight years to the infectious original “Melanie” … and the difference is jarring.

Part of this is, as Thompson was trying to get at, that the band got together and improved their music. But I also think that it reflects a difference in his comedy. Early, it seemed that thought that in order to be funny you had to sound funny, and so you had to insert all sorts of funny sounds. And “Another One Rides the Bus” gets a lot of its fun from, in fact, the funny tone of the music. This carries on clearly into “Eat it”. But by “Melanie” even in the parodies the music sticks closer to the actual music used (see, for example, “Amish Paradise” and “Lump”; there’s not much difference between Al’s version and the originals musically). The humour relies far more on tone and discordance and actual jokes than it does on simple oddity.

I think part of this might be the influence of songs like “One More Minute” and “You Don’t Love Me Anymore” and in general his transpositions of the tone of a love or sad song with utterly ridiculous lyrics and situations. Those demonstrated that you can be really strong musically and have a song that can still carry the comedic payload, because in large part you need to be strong musically to carry off the joke. “One More Minute” wouldn’t be funny if it didn’t sound exactly like that sort of song, with the odder and more ironic lyrics (I think it would have been stronger if it have been even more ironic and he had never commented on it hurting him to see her with other guys; a full tone of relief would have been even funnier). The same thing applies to “Melanie”. But in doing that, you end up with a song that you can indeed listen to as well as laugh at, putting him in the rare company of groups like Moxy Fruvous who could do that.

This isn’t saying that funny noises doesn’t work. It does, as “Smells Like Nirvana” proves. But that song is ideal because the noises add to the humour, and support the jokes. They no longer are just the jokes. And that’s a big improvement, and might explain why he’s still around (as the clerk mentioned, he has a new CD).

The Ghost Behind her Eyes …

I should make a serious post today, but I’m too tired. So you’ll get this instead. Think of this being Caprica Six in the Battlestar Galactica series singing it, because I wrote it in the context of the board game:

There is a person living in my head
He comes to visit every night in bed
We fought the humans, but they just won’t fall
The voices in our councils starting to brawl

The fighters dancing on the hull
Suicide and love we could have had it all
And it is you, you are the ghost behind my eyes
I can’t see through you, you are the ghost behind my eyes
The ghost that says their lies

The doctor of the dark has made my mind home
My haunted head and he won’t leave me alone
He dances on my heart puts fire in my soul
I love that feeling when I’m losing control

The fighters dancing on the hull
Suicide and love we could have had it all
And it is you, you are the ghost behind my eyes
I can’t see through you,The ghost that says their lies

I wish to god that I could sleep
again, on peace again
And wake up from this nightmare
Free again
Free again, oh me again

There is a person living in my head
He comes to visit every night in bed

The fighters dancing on the hull
Suicide and love we could have had it all
And it is you, you are the ghost behind my eyes
You, you are the ghost behind my eyes
You, you are the ghost behind my eyes
Behind my eyes
The ghost behind my eyes

Dr. Baltar and ‘Rica Six …

A song parody I wrote in about 5 minutes for a BSG board game I’m in:

Dr. Baltar worked late at the laboratory
Where things are not as they seem
Dr. Baltar wishes nothing more desperately
Than to fulfill all of his dreams
Letting loose with a scream in the dead of night
As he’s breaking new ground
Trying his best to unlock all the secrets
But he’s not sure what he’s found
Dr. Baltar is his own little guinea pig
‘Cos they all think he’s mad
Sets his sights on the search of a lifetime
And he’s never, never sad
Whoa oh, it’s off to work he goes
In the name of science and all its wonders

This is the story of Dr. Baltar and ‘Rica Six
They are a person who feels good to be alive
This is the story of Dr. Baltar and ‘Rica Six
Believes the underdog will eventually survive

Not long now till the ultimate experiment
She’s breaking all the rules
She wants to cure all matter of imbalance
In this world of fools
She locks the door and she looks around nervously
She knows he’s the one there
She loads it down and waits for some reaction
To all his work and care
Hey, hey he fumbles for what to say
She loves the world except for all the people

This is the story of Dr. Baltar and ‘Rica Six
They are a person who feels good to be alive
This is the story of Dr. Baltar and ‘Rica Six
Believes the underdog will eventually survive

Whoa oh, it’s out at night she goes
She slips easily into conversation
Hey hey, she’s cool in every way
Sometimes she loves to sing that old black magic

This is the story of Dr. Baltar and ‘Rica Six
They are a person who feels good to be alive
This is the story of Dr. Baltar and ‘Rica Six
Believes the underdog will eventually survive

We didn’t start the series …

I should be posting something more serious, like a reply to Sean Carroll’s disproof of life after death or another Not-So-Casual Commentary, but I’ve been doing a lot of writing elsewhere and don’t really feel like.  So, instead, you’ll get this:

When a local TV station started running re-runs of Star Trek:  TNG many, many years ago, they did a commercial parodying the song “We Didn’t Start the Fire” to advertise it.  Here are those lyrics, as best I remember them:

Jean Luc,
Geordi’s Specs,
Mysteries on the Holodecks

Asteroids,
Triple Droids,
Telepathic Betazoids

Transporter
Deadly Claw
Visitor from LA Law

Photons,
No Kirk,
Captain has gone berserk

Shuttlecraft,
Counselor Troi,
Doctor Crusher’s little boy

Klingon Rites,
Parasites,
New Heights,
Phaser Fights,

Data’s Head,
Tasha’s Dead,
Riker’s Hangin’ by a thread

Celebration,
Transformation,
Everyone to battle stations

We didn’t start the series,
It’s the Next Generationon your favorite station

We didn’t start the series,
But when we are gone it willstill be on and on and on…

We didn’t start the series…

(In the interests of full disclosure, I had remembered them all on my way into work this morning, but forgot the first two stanzas and had to look them up to write them now.)

‘Rica, I’m Comin’ Home …

So, one of my hobbies has been writing song parodies, so I thought I’d start putting some of my old ones up here, and any new ones that I put together.

I came up with this one while playing the Battlestar Galactica board game by PBF.  I like to get into character when playing that game, and for a time I played as Gaius Baltar and really got into it.  In the game I wrote this for, I was actually a hidden Cylon, and used this as my send-off when they finally executed me and sent me to that goo bath in the sky.  A literal goo bath in the sky, if you know the series:

Times have changed and times are strange
Here I come but I ain’t the same
‘Rica, I’m comin home
Times gone by, seems to me
They could have been better friends to me
‘Rica, I’m comin home

They took me in and they drove me out
But you have me hypnotized, yeah
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes

You made me cry, you told me lies
But I can’t bear to stay behind
‘Rica, I’m comin home
It could be right, it could be wrong
But hurts so bad it’s been so long
‘Rica, I’m comin home

Selfish ones now they’re all alone
The rise before the fall, yeah
But I’m gonna make them soldier on
They’re just gonna get it all

I’ve seen your face a hundred times
Everyday we’ve been apart
I don’t care about the sunshine, yeah
‘Cause ‘Rica, ‘Rica, I’m comin home
I’m comin home
I’m comin home

They took me in and they drove me out
But you have me hypnotized, yeah
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes

I’ve seen your face a thousand times
Everyday we’ve been apart
I don’t care about the sunshine, yeah
‘Cause ‘Rica, ‘Rica, I’m comin home
I’m comin home
I’m comin home