Outta Touch, Outta Time …

So, as I’ve touched on, I’ve been pretty busy lately. And, of course, I’ve been pretty busy before. But this time is a little bit different. This is the first time that I can recall where I actually feel that I have no time. Always before I knew I was busy, but for the most part also felt like I a) still had some time left to do things, even if I decided to rest or take a break instead and b) would have the time to pick things up once work slowed down. But this year I haven’t really felt that.

Part of the issue is that I have not only had a lot of things to do at work and around the house, but I’ve also been trying to do a number of other things. I’ve been trying to get some programming in regularly, as well as some writing, and wanted to put them on a schedule. Which I think is what most led to the issue, because the schedule I put together is, at least technically, rather packed. As I commented, I have budgeted about an hour and a half of TV watching a day, which is what I’ll get if all of the schedule works out the way I plan, with it only being the case that I get more in if I, say, don’t work as late as I generally plan to. That leaves little time to actually watch anything, as it would take me upwards of two months to watch an hour long show. And there are a number of them that I want to watch or watch again. I have a regularly scheduled 3 – 4 hours of video game time a week, which means that it would take me five months to finish a game like Persona 5 if I stuck to the schedule. And I have something like 8 hours for project-type stuff — writing and programming — if I stick to the schedule.

Before, if I wasn’t getting anything done it was because I wasn’t sticking to the schedule. Now, it really looks like I won’t get things done even if I stick to the schedule. And I never stick to the schedule.

And I even tried to slide some other things into other sorts of spare time, like watching DVDs while I’m working weekends which might then let me actually get some of the things I want to watch watched. But there isn’t that much time those days and whether I even go in or not varies, and on top of that if I don’t go into work for a while or don’t want to have that on, then what do I do with that series that I’m watching? The whole point to trying to watch it then is that I don’t have time to watch it otherwise. I’ve thought about doing things like writing or blog posts while compiling, but I find switching between the two to be distracting, and it doesn’t take me that long to compile anymore. I’ve thought about doing stuff like that before leaving work, or even taking an hour around lunch time to read, but if I’m working on something then I don’t want to stop looking at it and if I’m not working on something then I’m usually either waiting for something — and I don’t wait well and so would be distracted by the waiting — or else I’m planning on going home early instead and doing other things. So even when I would have the time to do things there, I wouldn’t and it would be better for me not to do it. So for all of these, I can’t really put anything regular in there, and if I can’t put anything regular in there, then it won’t help me get those things done, and if it won’t help me get those things done, then it isn’t helping me all that much.

And that, I think, is the real key. Always before when I put together a schedule, I could pretty much fit in everything I wanted to do somewhere and get what felt like enough time to do all of them. Sure, I didn’t always or even usually do all of those things, but again it was just a matter of my actually sticking to the schedule or just getting temporarily and unexpectedly busy. But now, that’s not the case, and there are things that I really want to do that I don’t feel that I have the time to do. That makes me feel like I don’t have time anymore.

I guess the key here is to accept my time constraints and either try to be more efficient or else accept that some of the things that I want to do I just won’t be able to do. I’ve already done that for hour long shows (for the most part) and I’ll have to see what else I’ll have to accept not being able to do.

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